Although living together is a beautiful story, it is not always meant to last. With a rising trend of couples getting a divorce, many children across the planet are facing a family breakup.
Unlike the parents who don’t love each other anymore and have decided to split up, the child takes this personally, and can result in various consequences. It is important to note that these consequences are not definitive. Many things can be done to improve how children react to these changes.
To give you a better idea of how divorce or parental separation can impact children, we have made this article. Read on, and inform yourself about the potential problems, and all the things you can do to prevent such consequences.
What do children feel
The first feeling that overwhelms the children is the sense of a loss. When they are being left without a parent, they think they might be left off. This can prograde into a fear of being left which is a serious condition.
In addition, they might feel guilty and think they are the reason for the separation of their parents. This can lead to anger towards themselves, their parents, or the environment. The loneliness can lead to anxiety and they might feel completely rejected by everyone.
No matter the conditions, the kids have a perfect family picture in their heads. Even if things became bad, they will still wish only for getting their parents together.
Since the parents are no longer together, the child loses contact with one of them which is usually the father. If they don’t see each other often, their connection is lost. However, this is not the main stressor in separation situations.
The change of their living place or going to a different school can cause stress in children. When going to a new area, you don’t know what to expect. In addition, going to another school can be hard because they don’t know anybody there. They might feel lonely and rejected.
In addition, since now only one parent is a provider, they might suffer financial problems. This can be stressful both for the kid and the parent since they cannot live the same lives anymore.
Problems in behavior
Although most of the problems begin with internalizing the kid. Sometimes, changes in their behavior are the first sign that can you can notice. For example, you can notice aggression and conflicts with their friends. In addition, any sort of delinquency, and impulsiveness can be noticed.
Besides that, most of the adolescents that have experienced parental separation are more prone to substance abuse and various sexual activities. Between the substances, alcohol is the most common, however different types of drugs are present as well.
When it comes to sexual activities, most of these children have done it while being under the age of sixteen. The absence of a father usually results in more sex partners during their adolescence.
Mental health issues
Mental issues are more common in children with separated parents as opposed to children from a marital union. The stressors and the emotional trauma can often lead to disorders that need professional help. For example, anxiety and depression are often seen in such scenarios, as well as adjustment disorders.
Worsening of school results
Even if the child did great in school before the divorce, some problems can be noticed after the separation. Problems with focusing, or just rebelling against the rules and being uninterested can be some of the reasons why their school results are worsening.
This only happens in individuals that experienced a sudden divorce. In a situation where the separation was likely, children did not have any academic difficulties.
How can we aid this situation?
Although many of these problems are serious, it does not mean that they will happen. Even if they do, they are not permanent, and they can be assessed to help the child face the changes.
Working with family law professionals
Using professional help can be essential for the well being of our children. Family law specialists are important for legal advice and assistance through such difficult times as suggested by www.kabirfamilylaw.co.uk.
Don’t go into conflicts in front of the child
The additional conflict between the parents can cause serious problems for the kid. Especially if it comes to violent scenarios as well as screams, the child is more likely to suffer from behavioral problems.
For that reason, co-parenting is essential for the wellness of your child. Even after separation, the child is still the priority, so make sure you behave well around them.
Avoid mixing your kid in the situation
We have all seen situations where the kid is being used to send messages or be dragged in the drama unnecessarily. People should never speak badly for their previous partner in front of the child. Their problems are their own, and the child has nothing to do with them.
Keep on having a friendly relationship
A friendly relationship eases many of the possible problems your child might face. Just because both partners are not together, it does not mean they cannot have a friendly relationship, and the kid rises.
In addition, it has been proven that a good relationship between the parents can improve the academic results of the child.
After the separation, one of the things that are missing is discipline. The children are let to do whatever they want which can lead to the consequences we mentioned above. For that reason, prioritization of discipline is essential when rising a child.
Observe the adolescents
Adolescents are more likely to do something bad than smaller children, even though they have been affected by the same problem. The increase in substance use and early sexual experiences are enough reasons to pay attention to your child more. That way, you can notice the way they are heading, and you can prevent unwanted situations.
Help your child to manage the situation easier
Every kid has its coping mechanisms that make these periods easy for them. However, some kids are better than others, so you need to observe your child more. If you notice they have difficulty in coping with the changes, make sure you teach them how to do that.
Having control over their thoughts and behavior is something that every child has to learn, and it is a beneficial skill for the rest of their lives.
Find help if needed
If you cannot find a way to help your child, and you have noticed changes in them, look for professional assistance. You can firstly bring your kid to their doctor that will take you to the right place. Legal help is also important. For that reason, go for the family law professionals to help in your situation.
Keep in mind that emotional problems are normal in such situations. However, sometimes help is necessary and it has to be done on time.